Could you please tell me if a father is
allowed to talk guilt into his children, because they are not supporting him financially.
When I was still living home I used to work and give my father money. But now that I am
married I have other responsibilities and also my husband is against the idea of
supporting my father. We always argue about this.
My father has his own (good) salary ,but he wants to do a lot of things
that require a lot of money, like building a house etc. (for his second wife).
(He got married for the second time to have a son, and this has hurt us
and my mother very much). It felt like he was not satisfied with us (4 daughters).
He is always talking like we are no good to him, saying that other
people's children are doing better than we do. This is making me very sad. I want to have
a good realtionship with him, but I always feel very uncomfortable when he starts talking
like that.
Am I obliged to support my father, despite the fact that he is building
this house for his second wife and children? Are we responsible for all his borrowing from
other people to realize this?
Am I allowed to go against my husband and support my father anyway?
Jazaak allah!
Praise be to Allah.
You should give your father whatever will please him, provided that
this does not affect your own interests and needs. As for your husband, he has nothing to
do with your wealth that Allâh has given to you. The fact that your father wants to build
a house for his second wife, who is your mothers co-wife, does not mean that you are
not obliged to honour him, for the child and whatever he owns belong to the father. Yes,
if there is a conflict between obedience to your mother and obedience to your father, then
you must take a balanced approach, whilst giving precedence to your mother, because she
takes priority when it comes to good companionship, and her rights are greater than those
of the father. And Allâh is the source of strength.