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I am in love with a Muslim. We do plan to be married soon, as long as his parents accept it. I plan to pronounce Shahadah soon, and begin the rituals of cleansing and prayer. My question is, what things can I do that will make me a good and virtuous wife to him? What manners should I have and what practices should I follow? What rules are there about women in the mosque? Also, how should I read the Holy Book?
Praise be to Allah.
We praise Allah Who has lighted the path of truth for you and enabled you to become convinced of Islam which is the true religion. All you have to do now is to utter the Two Testimonies of Faith (the Shahadatayn) in order to set your affairs straight, and you will be granted divine support in this world and in the Hereafter. So hasten to take this step and I ask Allah to make you steadfast in adhering to His religion. Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.
In order to be a righteous wife with whom Allah is pleased, we advise you, after obeying Allah, to obey your husband so long as he does not tell you to do anything wrong or sinful, for a wife’s obedience towards her husband is one of the most important principles of marriage propagated in Islam.
Mu`adh ibn Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands, because of the husband’s great rights. No woman can find the sweetness of faith until she fulfils her husband’s rights , even if he calls her to him when she is atop her camel.”
Al-Haythami (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “This was narrated in full by Al-Bazzar and in part by Ahmad, and the men of its Isnad [chain of narration] are the men of sahih.” (Majma` Az-Zawa’id, 4/309)
After that you have to give up the bad customs that you used to engage in before your Islam, that go against Islam and its commandments.
With regard to the way of life that you have to follow, that is by adhering to the commands enjoined by Allah and by avoiding the things that Allah has forbidden; that includes praying and fasting regularly and remembering Allah in all situations. In all of that it will help if you read the Quran and useful books which describe Islam and its teachings.
With regard to the guidelines on women entering the mosque , they are as follows:
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Do not prevent the female slaves of Allah from going to the mosques of Allah , but let them go out not wearing perfume.” (Narrated by Abu Dawud, 565; classed as authentic by Al-Albani in Sahih Abu Dawud, 529)
`Abdullah ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “… Then the Mu’adhdhin gave the call to prayer, and he (the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)) came out, saying, ‘Allahumma aj`al fi qalbi nuran wa fi lisani nuran waj’al fi sam’i nuran waj’al fi basari nuran waj`al min khalfi nuran wa min amami nuran waj`al min fawqi nuran wa min tahti nuran, Allahummah a`tini nuran (O Allah, place with my heart light, and upon my tongue light, and within my ears light and within my eyes light, and place behind me light and in front of me light and above me light and beneath me light, O Allah, bestow upon me light).” (Narrated by Muslim, 763)
Abu Humayd or Abu Usayd (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “When any one of you enters the mosque, let him say: Allahumma iftah li abwab rahmatika (O Allah, open to me the gates of Your mercy), and when he leaves let him say, Allahumma inni as’aluka min fadlika (O Allah, I ask You of Your bounty).” (Narrated by Muslim, 713)
According to some reports, the words Bismillah, Allahumma salli ‘ala Muhammad (In the name of Allah, O Allah, send blessings upon Muhammad) are added at the beginning of each. (See At-Tirmidhi, 314; Ibn Majah, 771. Classed as authentic by Al-Albani in Sahih Ibn Majah, 625)
Haywah ibn Shurayh (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “I met ‘Uqbah ibn Muslim and said to him, ‘I heard that you narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn Al-‘As that when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) entered the mosque, he would say, “A’udhu Billah il-‘Athim wa bi wajhihi’l-karim wa sultanihi’l-qadim min Ash-shaytan ir-rajim (O Allah, I seek refuge in Your noble countenance and Your eternal authority from the accursed satan).”’ He said, ‘Is that all?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘And when he said that, the devil said, “He is protected from me for the whole day.”’” (Narrated by Abu Dawud, 466; classed as authentic by Shaykh Al-Albani in Sahih Abu Dawud, 441)
Abu Qutadah As-Sulami (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “When any one of you enters the mosque, let him pray two Rak’ahs before he sits down.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari, 443; Muslim, 714)
Abu Dawud (455) narrated that `Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) commanded that mosques should be built in every neighbourhood, and that they should be cleaned and perfumed. (Classed as authentic by Al-Albani in Sahih Abu Dawud, 437.)
Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The deeds of my Ummah, both good and bad, were shown to me, and I found that among the best of its deeds was removing a harmful thing from the road, and I found among the worst of its deeds leaving phlegm in the mosque and not burying it.” (Narrated by Muslim, 555)
Abu Sa’id (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) went into I’tikaf (seclusion or retreat for worship) in the mosque, and he heard them reciting Quran in loud voices. He pulled back the curtain and said: “Each one of you is conversing with his Lord, so do not disturb one another and do not raise your voices above one another in reciting the Quran” – or he said, “in prayer”. (Narrated by Abu Dawud, 1332; classed as authentic by Al-Albani in Sahih Abu Dawud, 1183)
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “When any one of you enters the mosque, let him send blessings upon the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and say, Allahumma iftah li abwab rahmatika (O Allah, open to me the gates of Your mercy). And when he leaves let him send blessings upon the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and say, Allahumma i’simni min Ash-Shaytan ir-rajim (O Allah, protect me from the accursed satan). (Narrated by Ibn Majah, 773. This Hadith was classed as authentic by Al-Albani in Sahih Al-Jami’, 515)
With regard to reading the Quran, you should read it a lot, because for every letter that you read you will have ten Hasanat (good deeds). It is permissible to recite the Quran with or without Wudu’, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to remember Allah in all situations. (Narrated by Muslim, 373) But it is better to do Wudu’ before reciting the Quran.
Muhajir ibn Qunfudh (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that he came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) whilst he was urinating and greeted him with Salam, but he did not return the greeting until he had done wudu’. Then he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) apologised to him and said, “I did not want to mention Allah when I was not in a state of purity.” (Narrated by Abu Dawud, 17 – this version was narrated by him; Ibn Majah, 350. Classed as authentic by Shaykh Al-Albani in Sahih Al-Jami’, 2472)
But it is prohibited for one who is Junub (in a state of impurity following sexual activity) to recite the Quran. With regard to a menstruating woman, the correct view is that it is permissible for her to recite the Quran. Please see question no. 2564 .
All of that has to do with reciting the Quran without touching the Mus-haf. With regard to touching the Mus-haf , that is only permissible for one who has Wudu’, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “No one should touch the Quran except one who is pure.” (Narrated by Malik in Al-Muwatta’, 419; classed as authentic by Al-Albani in Irwa’ Al-Ghalil, 122)
If the Muslim wants to read from the Mus-haf and he does not have Wudu’, he should hold the book with something in between, such as wearing gloves on his hands.
It is Sunnah for him to be humble and think of the meaning of the verses that he is reading. He should ask about the meaning if he finds the words difficult to understand, so that he will increase in knowledge whilst reading. After that he should strive to act in accordance with what he has learned and apply the rulings of the Quran.
And Allah knows best.