Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
It is obligatory to obey parents in that which does not involve sin, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no obedience if it involves disobedience towards Allah; obedience is only in that which is right and proper.” Narrated by al-Bukhari (7257) and Muslim (1840). And he said: “There is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience towards Allah, may He be Glorified and Exalted.” Narrated by Ahmad (109 8). Obedience to parents is obligatory for the child with regard to that which will benefit them and not cause any harm to the child; but if there is no benefit to them in that, or it will cause him harm, he is not obliged to obey them in that case.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Al-Ikhtiyarat (p. 114): The individual must obey his parents in whatever does not involve disobedience to Allah, even if they are evildoers… This applies with regard to that which is beneficial for them and will not cause harm to him. End quote.
Undoubtedly part of what is beneficial to parents is protecting their wealth, therefore the basic principle is that you must obey them in that regard.
Moreover, it is not permissible for the child to take anything of his parents’ wealth except with their permission, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible to take the wealth of a Muslim except with his consent.” Narrated by Ahmad (20172); classed as authentic by al-Albani in Irwa’ al-Ghalil, 1459.
But there is an exception to that, which allows the son to take his maintenance on a reasonable basis, if his father does not give him his maintenance. Maintenance includes that which will help one to seek essential knowledge.
That is because of the hadith of `A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), who said that Hind bint `Utbah said: O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a stingy man and he does not give me enough maintenance for myself and my children, except what I take from him without his knowledge. The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Take what is sufficient for you and your children, on a reasonable basis.” Narrated by al-Bukhari (5364).
With regard to seeking religious knowledge in general, it is one of the most important things that the Muslim needs in his life, and one of the things to which he must pay the most attention. If the son wants to learn Islamic knowledge, whether by attending lessons given by trustworthy scholars or by means of books, tapes or trustworthy websites, and his parents tell him not to do any of those things, and it is not possible for him to achieve that Islamically-prescribed goal by any other means that will not make them angry, then he should not obey them in that regard; rather he should give precedence to seeking what he needs of Islamic knowledge over that.
Shaykh Ibn `Uthaymin was asked about a father who prevented his son from attending gatherings of dhikr and religious lessons, which resulted in that son giving up religious commitment and going to watch movies and do other prohibited things. Is what this father did regarded as barring people from the path of Allah? And should he be obeyed in that case?
He replied:
If your father or mother forbids you to attend religious gatherings, do not obey him, because attending gatherings of knowledge and dhikr is something good, and that will not bring any harm to the parents. Hence we say: do not obey them, but strive hard to be tactful with them. What is meant by being tactful with them in this regard is not telling them clearly that you are going to a study circle; rather you should pretend that you are going to see some of your friends and the like.
With regard to the father and mother who prevent their son from attending gatherings of knowledge and dhikr, they are preventing him from doing that, and that comes under the heading of barring people from remembering Allah, and they are sinning by doing that. What the father and mother should do, if they see that their child wants to seek knowledge, is be happy about that and help him in every way they can, because this is a blessing that Allah has bestowed upon him and on them. Who is the type of son who benefits a person when he dies? It is the righteous son, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “When a man dies, his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge or a righteous son who will pray for him.”(Liqa’at al-Bab al-Maftuh, no. 99, p. 9).
Based on that, if you cannot learn the Islamic rulings that you are required to learn – such as creed, rulings on purification, prayer and fasting, and rulings on interactions and transactions that you will engage in – except by going online, then it is permissible for you to go online without your parents’ permission, and to spend on that on a reasonable basis, but you do not have the right to do more than that except with permission.
Whatever websites you think are beneficial, you can download them in full using some program that will help you to do that, then you can surf them without going online. Thus you will get the knowledge you want without going against your parents’ wishes.
We ask Allah to guide us and you and make us steadfast.
And Allah knows best.
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