Praise be to Allah.
One of the rights of the newborn over his parents, and one of the ways in which the parent shows kindness to his child, is choosing a good name for him, a name by which he would like people to call him, a name that he will not be embarrassed by or feel compelled to change later on.
One of the guidelines that may help him in naming the child and choosing a good name is to connect it to his religion and basic beliefs. The most beloved of names to Allah are ‘Abd-Allah and ‘Abd al-Rahmaan, so [the father] should choose for him a name like these or similar names which are indicative of his identity and his belonging to the ummah of Islam and his beliefs. He may also choose any Muslim or Arab name that he likes, so long as it has a good meaning; it is recommended that the name should be of the type that makes people feel cheerful when they hear it.
Shaykh Abu Zayd (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Tasmiyat al-Mawlood (25):
The name connects the newborn to the guidance and etiquette of Islam, so the child will be blessed and his name will be a reminder of the one after whom he is named such as a Prophet or righteous slave of Allah, so as to follow the example of the righteous forebears, preserving their names, remembering their attributes, and so as to perpetuate a chain of righteousness in future generations of the ummah. End quote.
Naming is the right of the father, and no one has the right to take it away from him, but he may check the name that he has chosen with someone who is more knowledgeable than him and has more understanding of such matters. This is not because that will have any special effect on the child; rather it is a kind of consultation that many people may not need, if the father manages by himself, following consultation with his wife or one of his brothers, to choose a good name.
Shaykh Abu Bakr Zayd (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Tasmiyat al-Mawlood (29):
It is proven from a number of the Sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them) that they used to present their newborns to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and he would name them. This indicates that the father may consult, with regard to naming the child, one who has knowledge of the Sunnah or is one of Ahl al-Sunnah, whose religious commitment and knowledge he trusts, to help him find a good name for his newborn. End quote.
From the above it is clear that this belief of your husband and his family that you mention has no basis; rather it is an innovation and should be dispensed with, and they should stop believing in it and relying on it. You have to choose an appropriate name for the child, either by yourselves or in consultation with people who you think have understanding and are religiously committed.
We advise you to refer the book Tasmiyat al-Mawlood: Adaab wa Ahkaam, by Shaykh Bakr ibn ‘Abd-Allah Abu Zayd (may Allah have mercy on him).
And Allah knows best.
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