Praise be to Allah.
A man should not be hasty in divorcing his wife, because of the many bad consequences that result from that, which cause harm to the husband, the wife and the children. A man may regret the divorce when it is too late and his regret does not benefit him.
If a man has divorced his wife for the third time, she is not permissible for him until she has been married to another husband, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And if he has divorced her (the third time), then she is not lawful unto him thereafter until she has married another husband. Then, if the other husband divorces her, it is no sin on both of them that they reunite, provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allaah. These are the limits of Allaah, which He makes plain for the people who have knowledge”
[al-Baqarah 2:230].
You have done well to avoid a tahleel marriage, because it is haraam and invalid. The Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) cursed the one who does it and the one for whom it is done.
Abu Dawood (2076) narrated that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “May Allah curse the one who does a tahleel marriage and the one for whom it is done.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
For more information on the invalidity of the tahleel marriage, please see the answer to question 109245.
There is no other way to take back a wife who has been divorced three times, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And if he has divorced her (the third time), then she is not lawful unto him thereafter until she has married another husband” [al-Baqarah 2:230]. The word “until” here means she remains haraam to him until this situation is fulfilled, “until she has married another husband”.
With regard to your asking Allah to decree that she marry a man who she does not get on with, so that he will divorce her and then you can marry her again, what is better than that is for you to ask Allah to make it easy for you to marry her if that is good for you, because you do not know whether marrying her will be good or not, because she was married to you but your life together not as it should have been.
Moreover, you should not pray that there be no harmony between her and the man she marries; rather you should leave the matter to Allah so that He will decree the causes by which she might leave that husband so that she will become permissible for you, if there is any good for you in taking her back.
This is proper etiquette towards Allah, not asking Him to do what you want. The Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) mentioned the story of Ashaab al-Ukhdood (the people of the ditch) in which the believing boy prayed against his enemies, saying: “O Allah, suffice me against them by whatever means You will.” Narrated by Muslim, 3005
The point is that there is nothing wrong with you praying that it be made easy for you to remarry her, but it is better to limit that by saying “if that is good for me.”
But what we think is best is for you to cut off any attachment to her. Things like what you are seeking and looking for are not easy to attain; rather this is very unlikely, especially as you know that your taking her back if she gets divorced from another husband depends on whether you both think that you can both adhere to the laws of Allah and respect and keep His sacred limits, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And if he has divorced her (the third time), then she is not lawful unto him thereafter until she has married another husband. Then, if the other husband divorces her, it is no sin on both of them that they reunite, provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allaah. These are the limits of Allaah, which He makes plain for the people who have knowledge”
[al-Baqarah 2:230].
Shaykh Ibn Sa‘di (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Remarriage is conditional upon them both thinking that they can “keep the limits ordained by Allaah”, by each of them respecting the rights of the other. That means both regretting the previous conduct that led to divorce, and both resolving to replace it with good conduct. In this case there is nothing wrong with them remarrying.
The implication of this verse is that if they think they cannot keep to the limits set by Allah, because they think it most likely that what happened before will happen again, and that bad conduct will continue, then in that case there will be sin on them if they remarry, because in all cases where the command of Allah will not be followed and it will not be a means of obeying Him, it is not permissible to go ahead with that action. End quote.
Tafseer al-Sa‘di, 102.
If that is the case, then what the wise person should do is not to be attached to someone else, and he should move on to what is good for him and in his best interests. So look for another wife whom Allah may make a delight to you and make things better for you, and give you what you missed out on with your first wife whom you could not keep.
If what you are seeking and hoping for is decreed, and she leaves her other husband, no matter how the separation occurs, then you could take her back as a second wife, alongside your other wife. That is if you are still attached to her at that time. Otherwise, forget about her and get on with your life.
And Allah knows best.
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