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His mother wants him to study medicine and he wants to enter the business field

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Publication : 17-01-2011

Views : 25141

Question

My mother wants me to enter medical field and I want to enter business field. However, she says that she inst pleased with this decision and that because she inst pleased with me Allah will not help me succeed. Is this true? Isnt what I want to major in, in college my choice? I find her being very unreasonable when i tried talking to her in the most best manner, but i couldnt hold the anger i had from her saying some really obscene things like, no woman will marry me for entering in this unrewarding field(according to her). I told her Allah is the razaaq and that inshallah I will be able to support myself, because Allah decides who will be rich and who will be poor. What do you think dear Sheikh? Will Allah really not help me succeed in my life because my mother prefers i be a doctor than a man working in the business field?.

Answer

Praise be to Allah.

The mother’s rights over her son are great; he is required to honour her and treat her kindly as enjoined by Allah in many places in His Book and as enjoined by His Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). 

Hence you should try to convince her of the advantages of the field to which you are inclined and want to enter and in which you feel that you are able to succeed. 

This is something that some fathers and mothers neglect. They look at the beauties of the specialty or profession but they do not look at how suited the son is for it or his desire to succeed in it. The son may have no desire to study medicine for example, or he may feel that he has no need for it or it is not possible for him to excel in it. Yet despite that his parents insist that he should study medicine. This destroys real talents and contributes to increasing the numbers of graduates who are not fully qualified in their specialty. 

The son is not obliged to obey his parents in choosing a specialty to study or a field of work, just as he is not obliged to eat what he does not like or marry someone who he does not want. 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The parents have no right to force their son to marry someone who he does not want, and he is not disobeying them in that case; the same applies to eating food he does not want.

End quote from al-Ikhtiyaaraat, p. 304 

As he is not obliged to obey them in eating what he does not want, even though the hardship involved does not last more than a brief period of time, it is more appropriate that he should not be obliged to obey them with regard to study which will take years and on which years of further work will be based, when he has no interest in doing that. 

What you have to do is strive hard to please your mother and make her feel good, and prove that you can excel and succeed in the field of business and commerce. 

We ask Allah to guide and help you. 

And Allah knows best.

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Source: Islam Q&A