Praise be to Allah.Praise be to Allaah.
We are surprised that you describe your question as “dumb”, rather it is very good, and is indicative of wisdom and religious commitment. We need people like you who strive to overcome their desires and who put obedience to Allaah and His Messenger above obedience to their own desires, and fear the standing before their Lord.
We give you glad tiding for what you have done by leaving this girl and putting love of Allaah above this sin. There follow some glad tidings:
1 – The reward of two Gardens.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“But for him who fears the standing before his Lord, there will be two Gardens (i.e. in Paradise)”
Ibn Katheer said:
The correct view is that this verse is general in meaning, as Ibn ‘Abbaas and others said. Allaah says “But for him who fears the standing before his Lord” i.e., on the Day of Resurrection, and forbids himself from following his whims and desires, and does not obey his desires or prefer the life of this world, and knows that the Hereafter is better and more lasting, and fulfils his duties towards Allaah, and avoids that which He has forbidden – on the Day of Resurrection he will have two Gardens with his Lord…
Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 4/277
2 – Bad deeds will be turned into good deeds.
Allaah says – after mentioning the punishment for shirk, murder and adultery – (interpretation of the meaning):
“Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”
According to the two views on the meaning of this verse, this is one of the glad tidings to those who give up sin. And it was said that their sins will be turned into acts of obedience, and it was said that their bad deeds themselves will be turned into good deeds.
Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sa’di said:
“Except those who repent” from these sins and others, by giving them up immediately, regretting what they have done in the past, and resolving firmly never to go back to them.
“and believe” in Allaah with true faith, which implies giving up sin and doing acts of obedience.
“and do righteous deeds” means those that are enjoined by sharee’ah, if the intention is to seek the pleasure of Allaah.
“for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds” means, he will make their deeds different, so where they used to do bad deeds, they will now do good deeds. So their shirk is changed into faith, their disobedience into obedience. The bad deeds that they used to do, from which they repented, turning to Allaah, and worship, are turned into good deeds, as is the apparent meaning of the verse. This was narrated in the hadeeth of the man some of whose sins were counted by Allaah, then He turned each bad deed into a good deed and he said, “O Lord, I have other bad deeds that I do not see here.” And Allaah knows best.
3 – Feeling the sweetness of faith.
It was narrated from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are three qualities, whoever possesses them will find the sweetness of faith: when Allaah and His Messenger are dearer to him than anyone else; when he loves a man and only loves him for the sake of Allaah; and when he would hate to go back to kufr as he would hate to be thrown into the fire.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 16; Muslim, 43.
4 – Glad tidings of sincerity
Undoubtedly for those who strive against their whims and desires and ward off haraam love and replace it with love of Allaah, this is a sign of their sincerity (ikhlaas).
Ibn al-Qayyim said:
Love of images [i.e. haraam love] is something which is suffered by those hearts that are devoid of love of Allaah. If the heart is filled with love of Allaah and longing to meet Him, that will ward off the sickness of love of images. Hence Allaah said concerning Yoosuf (interpretation of the meaning):
“Thus it was, that We might turn away from him evil and illegal sexual intercourse. Surely, he was one of Our chosen, (guided) slaves”
This indicates that his being chosen was the reason why (haraam) love and its consequences of evil and illegal sexual intercourse were warded off from him. One of the salaf said: “Love is the movement of an empty heart” i.e., a heart that is empty of everything except the object of love.
And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And the heart of the mother of Moosa (Moses) became empty [from every thought, except the thought of Moosa (Moses)]. She was very near to disclose his (case, i.e. the child is her son)”
i.e., her heart was empty of everything except Moosa, because of her deep love for him and her heart’s attachment to him. Love is composed of two things: admiring the object of one’s love, and hoping to get what one wants. When one of them ends then the love ends too.
Zaad al-Ma’aad, 4/268.
Strive – may Allaah bless you – to strengthen your faith and to persist in obeying and worshipping Allaah, because that is one of the greatest signs of love of Allaah. Try to continue having no contact with that girl, then the Shaytaan will not trick you into going back to her and speaking to her. Then you will be fine, in sha Allah.
And Allaah is the Source of strength.