We ask Allaah to make things easier for you.
This misery that you are feeling is nothing more than whispers from the shaytaan (waswaas) who keeps tries to find opportunities to mislead the believer until he causes his doom in this world and in the Hereafter.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
(conspiracies) are only from Shaytaan (Satan), in order that he may cause
grief to the believers. But he cannot harm them in the least, except as
Allaah permits. And in Allaah let the believers put their trust”
Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan Ibn Sa’di said (p. 785):
“in order that he may cause grief to the believers” this is the purpose of his plots. End quote.
The sincere believer is able, by the strength of his faith and his trust in his Lord, and his acceptance of what Allaah has decreed for him, to overcome everything that makes him unhappy or worried.
Your situation is easy. Allaah has given you the opportunity of long nights in which you may fulfil your desire with your wife, and during the day you can keep busy with reading Qur’aan, doing good deeds, visiting brothers, taking care of household needs, and attending halaqahs and lessons. You can organize your time in this manner, and it will all be good, in sha Allaah.
You may also touch your wife without having intercourse, so long as you are confident that you will not do anything haraam.
You do not have any concession allowing you to have intercourse with your wife during the day in Ramadaan, rather you must beware of that, for the month of Ramadaan is very sacred and it is not permissible to violate that sanctity by breaking the fast with no excuse such as travelling or sickness. Whoever breaks the fast during the day in Ramadaan by having intercourse has committed a grave sin for which a severe expiation must be offered, which is described in questions no. 1672 and 49750.
And Allaah knows best.