Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
If the marriage contract has been done, then the fiancée becomes the wife of her fiancé, but she does not have to move in with him if she stipulated that the consummation was to be delayed until a certain time and he agreed to that condition, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The Muslims are bound by their conditions.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1352) and Abu Dawood (3594); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The condition which most deserves to be fulfilled is that by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2721) and Muslim (1418) from the hadeeth of ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allaah be pleased with him).
Based on this, there is no sin on you for not going to him, and he erred by asking you to do so before the end of the year which you had agreed upon. He also erred by trying to influence you to go against your parents and by hastening to divorce. This indicates that he is not mature. If he was really keen to marry you, he would have waited until the end of the year and the time would have passed quickly.
Secondly:
If a man divorces his wife before consummating the marriage, then she is completely divorced as a result, therefore he cannot take her back, and she does not have to observe any ‘iddah. But there is nothing wrong with him proposing to her a second time and marrying her, if she and her guardian agree to that, with a new contract and a new mahr.
Thirdly:
If your family do not think that this person is suitable for you, then you should obey your family, especially since you agree that they have reasons for adopting this stance. As for the fact that you feel some attachment to him, this is something natural that happens between a woman and her husband, but if Allaah gives you another husband you will love him in sha Allaah. Marriage is for life, and cannot be based only on emotions. Hence the wisdom of sharee’ah dictates that the approval of the woman’s guardian (wali) is essential, because women are weak and easily swayed by emotions, and may yield their rights or be impressed by someone who impresses them even if he is not suitable. So follow your parent’s wishes, for they are more far-sighted than you, and do not put pressure on them to accept this man, if he proposes to you again.
Fourthly:
It is clear to you that the approval of the woman’s wali is essential for the marriage to be valid, so marrying this man again will never be valid without your father’s consent. Right now you are a non-mahram to this man, so there is no way you can form a relationship with him, because you are no longer his wife at present.
You should occupy yourself with that which will benefit you, and do not think about the past, until Allaah grants you a righteous husband. Do not go ahead and marry anyone until after you have asked about him and are confident about his religious commitment and good character. Let the past be a lesson to you, and praise Allaah that you found out about this husband’s faults before you consummated the marriage and moved in with him.
We ask Allaah to help and guide you.
And Allaah knows best.
Comment