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My husband died, and I feel close to his friend, who wants to marry me, but he always feels that he is betraying his friendship with my husband, and he always feels guilty. Is his marrying me a betrayal of his friendship with my (deceased) husband?
Praise be to Allah.
It is permissible for your husband’s friend to marry you after your ‘iddah ends, and this is not regarded as a betrayal of his friendship. Rather this is something that many people do as a way of honouring the friend who has died, especially if they left children behind, so they want to marry in order to take care of the woman and help raise her children.
Moreover, marriage is prescribed and there is no impediment to it. If the husband intends to honour his friend, help raise his children and help his wife to maintain her chastity after he is gone, he will be rewarded for that.
It is no secret that what is forbidden is for the woman to establish a relationship with a man who is not her mahram, whether he is a friend of her husband or otherwise. This is what is regarded as a betrayal and infidelity.
If this man wants to marry you, and he is religiously committed and of good character, then he should go to your wali (guardian), and you should pray istikhaarah, asking Allah, may He be exalted, to guide you to the right decision. And you should cut off your ties with him from now, until he becomes your husband.
We ask Allah to guide and help you.
And Allah knows best.