We ask Allah to reward you with good for your patience in the face of the calamity that struck your young daughter. We ask Allah to grant her Paradise and to reward you and your husband abundantly.
This patience in the face of calamity is by the mercy of Allah towards His believing slaves.
The children of the Muslims will be in Paradise according to scholarly consensus.
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The reliable Muslim scholars are unanimously agreed that those of the children of the Muslims who die will be among the people of Paradise, because they are not accountable.
End quote from Sharh Mualim (16/207)
Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The children of the Muslims will be among the people of Paradise according to the consensus of Ahl as-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa‘ah
End quote from Majmoo‘ Fataawa Ibn Baaz (5/182)
Please see also the answer to question no. 117432 for information on their blessed journey (in the Hereafter), starting with barzakh, then at the time of the resurrection and the reckoning on the Day of Resurrection, and then when they enter Paradise.
Undoubtedly, as your daughter (may Allah have mercy on her) died by drowning at a time when she was still a minor and had not yet reached puberty, and she also feared Allah, despite her young age, these are glad tidings, so be of good cheer and think positively of Allah.
It is proven in the Sunnah that children will intercede for their parents on the Day of Resurrection, and it is also proven that the martyr will intercede for seventy of his relatives. Please see the answer to question no. 98575
The view of Ahl as-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa‘ah is that we cannot state definitively that a specific individual will be in Paradise or Hell, even if he was a small child, except those concerning whom there is a proven text that mentions them specifically. Please see the answer to question no. 731.
Muslim (2662) narrated that ‘Aa’ishah, the Mother of the Believers, said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was called to the funeral of an Ansaari boy and I said: O Messenger of Allah, glad tidings for this (boy), one of the little birds of Paradise. He did not do any evil or reach the age of doing evil. He said: “It may be otherwise, O ‘Aa’ishah, for Allah created people for Paradise, He created them for it when they were in their fathers’ loins. And He created people for Hell, He created them for it when they were in their fathers’ loins.”
Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
What he meant was to tell her not to testify that a specific individual would be in Paradise or Hell, even if he was a small child.
End quote from Majmoo‘ Fataawa Ibn Baaz (25/122)
Based on that, we hope for Paradise for your daughter, by Allah’s grace, but we cannot state that definitively, because stating definitively that a specific individual will be in Paradise or Hell requires a clear, saheeh text. However we say that the children of the Muslims will be in Paradise – in general terms, without mentioning specific individuals – as we mentioned above that there was scholarly consensus on this point.
If we cannot state definitively that a specific individual will be in Paradise or Hell, then it is more appropriate to note that we cannot state that he or she will be in a specific level of Paradise or Hell.
Similarly, we say that drowning is martyrdom, but we cannot state definitively that a specific individual who died by drowning is among the martyrs.
With regard to your saying: is she aware of my patience in the face of losing her? Only Allah knows about that, because when a person dies, all connection is cut off between him or her and this world and its people. So we cannot say anything definitive about that, just as we cannot rule it out altogether. This is one of the matters of the unseen which no one knows except Allah.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to the idea of the deceased being able to see his family and know what is happening to them, there is no evidence for that. Some people said that they saw that in some of their dreams, and claimed that they saw some of their deceased loved ones telling them about some things that may happen, but this is not reliable; dreams cannot be the basis of any belief with regard to matters of the unseen world. Rather the believer should show kindness towards his deceased loved ones whether they are aware of it or not; he should be keen to offer supplication for them, pray for mercy for them, and give charity on their behalf.
End quote from the shaykh’s website:
So you should offer supplication for her and think positively of Allah with regard to her case; your patience in the face of losing her is by the grace and kindness of Allah towards you, and there is no secret or mystery about that.
We advise you not to think too much about this matter, so that you will not start to wonder and develop strange notions. Continue being patient as you have been doing, and seek the help of Allah.
And Allah knows best.