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Praise be to Allah.
We ask Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, to take away the sickness that you are experiencing, and to relieve you of this hardship, and to replace your worry and distress with joy, happiness, ease and delight.
You have done very well to persist in praying for forgiveness, for it is one of the greatest means of bringing what one desires and warding off what one dislikes, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“I [Nooh] said (to them): ‘Ask forgiveness from your Lord, verily, He is Oft‑Forgiving;
11. ‘He will send rain to you in abundance,
12. ‘And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers”
[Nooh 71:10-12]
We advise you to do several things:
1 – Turn to Allaah and beseech Him to relieve you of the hardship that has befallen you, for He alone is able to do that, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And if Allaah touches you with harm, none can remove it but He, and if He touches you with good, then He is Able to do all things”
[al-An’aam 6:17]
Du’aa’ is of great importance, and calamities may be the means of opening the door to communication between a person and his Lord, because a person may start enjoying conversing with his Lord and finding comfort in that and tasting its sweetness, until he forgets all the pain that he is suffering. This is a sign of Allaah’s mercy to His slave, for He is Most Merciful, Most Loving, may He be glorified.
2 – Think positively of your Lord, may He be glorified, for He has all the beautiful qualities. Instead of expecting something bad to happen to you and calamities to strike, put your hope in your Lord and trust that He will be kind to you and set your affairs straight. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah says: ‘I am as My slave thinks I am, and I am with him when he calls on Me.’” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (7405) and Muslim (2675).
As you say that you have prayed a great deal for forgiveness from your sins, we should point out that one of these sins from which prayer for forgiveness and repentance is required is thinking negatively of the Lord of the Worlds, the Most Merciful, Most Loving.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: … that sort of attitude is the result of letting these thoughts control one's mind, so you will find such a person still having a kind of discontent with the divine decree and objecting to it with regard to His creation and His commands. Whispers (waswaas) will haunt such a person with regard to Allaah’s wisdom and mercy. Such a person needs to eliminate two things: corrupt ideas and corrupt whim and desires, and he should realize that wisdom and justice are found in that which Allaah decrees by His knowledge and wisdom, not what a person thinks on the basis of his (imperfect) knowledge and wisdom, so that his inclination will become in accordance with what Allaah decrees and commands, and he will have no inclination that opposes the decree and wisdom of Allaah.
Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (10/288).
3 – Take tangible measures to ward off what you are suffering. So get medical treatment for your sickness, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has sent down the disease and the remedy, and He has created for every disease a remedy, so treat disease but do not treat it with anything that is haraam.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (3874) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (1633).
Try to ward off depression by keeping yourself busy with things that will benefit you, whether in religious or worldly terms. Organize your time and try to fill it with beneficial things. Allocate some of your time to earning a living, and some for exercise, and some for studying and reading, and some to attend gatherings of dhikr and knowledge, and so on.
4 – We say: Do not worry about provision, for Allaah decreed all things fifty thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth, and your worrying will not change anything that Allaah has decreed. Whatever Allaah has decreed for you will come to you; all you have to do is take the means that are permissible according to sharee’ah, and do whatever you are able to do. Always remember the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):
“And no moving (living) creature is there on earth but its provision is due from Allaah. And He knows its dwelling place and its deposit (in the uterus or grave). All is in a Clear Book (Al‑Lawh Al‑Mahfooz — the Book of Decrees with Allaah).”
[Hood 11:6]
“And in the heaven is your provision, and that which you are promised”
[al-Dhaariyaat 51:22]
“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allaah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allaah has set a measure for all things”
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3]
5 – We advise you to look at those who are less well-off than you; look at those who are afflicted, so that you will appreciate the blessings that Allaah has bestowed upon you. If you do that, then you will realize that no matter what befalls you, you are well off.
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Look at the one who is at a lower level than you, and do not look at the one who is above you, for that may keep you from scorning the blessing of Allaah.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6490) and Muslim (2963)
6 – We say to you that you have done very well to take care of your parents and treat them kindly. This is one of the rights that they have over you, and Allaah will not cause the reward of those who do good to be lost. If you are unable to spend on them because you are sick and have little income, there is no sin on you for that, and Allaah will reward you for your intention and will continue to give you, whilst you are sick, the reward for the action you used to do when you were healthy, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a person falls sick or travels, there will be recorded for him (a reward) like that of what he used to do when he was not traveling and was healthy.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2996).
You have to honour your parents now as much as you can, and do not regard any act of kindness as too little. If you cannot afford anything, then keep in touch with them and show an interest in their affairs, and apologize to them for your current situation.
Allaah will grant your father a way our and will help him, so say a lot of du’aa’ for him.
And Allaah knows best.