Praise be to Allah.
we ask Allah to heal you quickly from this serious disease, and to cleanse your heart of all evil, for He is Able to do that. For the harm caused by falling into this great sin is not limited to punishment in the Hereafter, rather it goes beyond that and a part of the punishment may happen in this world; even if it is nothing more than the regret and feelings of guilt that result from it, that is enough, so how about if that is accompanied by incurable fatal diseases which the doctors are agreed are widespread among homosexuals and are caused by these perverted practices? You may find more information on that if you refer to question no. 10050.
The way to deal with your problem is as follows:
Firstly:
You have to repent sincerely from your heart, turn to Allah, regret what you have done, and pray a great deal to Allah, asking Him to forgive you and help you to get rid of this problem. For Allah is most Generous and is Close and always Responsive. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Say: ‘O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful’”
[al-Zumar 39:53]
So stand before Allah weeping, beseeching, expressing your need for Him and seeking His forgiveness, and receive the glad tidings from Allah of a way out and forgiveness.
Secondly:
Strive to plant the seeds of faith in your heart, for when they grow they will bear fruits of happiness in this world and in the Hereafter.
Faith in Allah is what – after the help of Allah – protects a person from falling into haraam things. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “No adulterer is a believer at the moment when he is committing adultery.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2475; Muslim, 57). So when faith is well established in your heart and fills your heart and emotions, you will not violate His sacred limits, in sha Allah. If the believer stumbles on one occasion he will quickly wake up. Allah describes His slaves as follows (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, those who are Al-Muttaqoon (the pious), when an evil thought comes to them from Shaytaan (Satan), they remember (Allah), and (indeed) they then see (aright)”
[al-A’raaf 7:201]
Thirdly:
Try to follow the advice which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) gave to young people, which is to get married if you are able to. Do not pay any attention to the fact that you are young, for being young is not a reason not to get married, far from it, so long as you have the need to get married. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and protecting chastity. Whoever cannot afford that should fast, for it will be a shield for him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065; Muslim, 1400). Strive to follow this advice from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), for this is the solution to your problem, in sha Allah.
There is nothing wrong with telling your father and mother of your need and desire to get married; don’t let shyness stop you from doing that.
Think seriously about marriage and do not fear poverty, and Allah will grant you independence of means by His bounty. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people)”
[al-Noor 24:32]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) has told us that the one who gets married with a good intention, Allah will help him. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “There are three who are entitled to Allah’s help: the mujaahid who fights for the sake of Allah, the slave who made a contract of manumission with his master, wanting to buy his freedom, and the one who gets married, seeking chastity.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1655; al-Nasaa’i, 3120; Ibn Maajah, 2518; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, 1917).
Fourthly:
If it is not easy for you to get married, then there is another solution, which is fasting. So why not think of fasting three days of each month, or on Mondays and Thursdays?
How great is the reward of fasting. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said that Allah said, “All the deeds of the son of Adam are for him except for fasting, which is for Me and I shall give reward for it.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1904; Muslim 1151).
And Allah tells us that He has enjoined fasting on us so that we might become pious:
“O you who believe! Observing As-Sawm (the fasting) is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)”
[al-Baqarah 2:183]
Fasting – as well as offering protection from following whims and desires and bringing a great reward from Allah – also trains a person to have strong will, patience and forbearance, to rise above the desires and pleasures of the self. So hasten to fast so that Allah may make things easier for you.
Fifthly:
Beware of thinking little of looking at haraam things in cheap magazines and nude pictures which lead to committing immoral actions that doom a person to Hell, and have deep and bad effects on the heart – Allah forbid. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do”
[al-Noor 24:30]
You should note that if you think little of this evil, this gives the Shaytaan an opportunity to make other actions that lie beyond that seem attractive to you, which is obvious. But he will do that because you gave in to him, even if that only happened once.
Sixthly:
Remember, when the idea of sin come to you, or the Shaytaan whispers to you to commit a sin, that the parts of your body will bear witness against you on the Day of Resurrection for this sin. Do you not know that these limbs and this youthful energy are a blessing from Allah to you? So can it be an act of gratitude to Allah that you use them to disobey Allah and rebel against the commands of Allah?
There is another matter which you should pay attention to. Read with me the following verse (interpretation of the meaning):
“Till, when they reach it (Hell-fire), their hearing (ears) and their eyes and their skins will testify against them as to what they used to do.
It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: “We were with the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and he smiled and said, ‘Do you know why I am smiling?’ We said, ‘Allah and His Messenger know best.’ He said, ‘Because of how a person will address his Lord. He will say, ‘O Lord, did You not guarantee me protection against injustice?’ He will say, ‘Yes.’ He will say, ‘I do not deem valid any witness against me but my own self.’ Allah will say, ‘Your own self will be sufficient as a witness against you this Day, and the honourable scribes (recording angels) will also bear witness.’ Then a seal will be placed over his mouth and it will be said to his limbs, ‘Speak!’ And they will speak of his deeds. Then he will be allowed to speak and will say, ‘Away with you! It was for your sake that I argued.’” (Narrated by Muslim, 2969).
Seventhly:
Avoid being alone, for this makes you think about your desires. Try to fill your time with things that will benefit you, such as doing righteous deeds, reading Qur’aan, dhikr and prayer.
Eighthly:
Avoid keeping company with evil and immoral people who discuss these subjects, talk about things that provoke desire, take the matter of sin lightly and encourage it. You have to look for good friends who will remind you of Allah and help you to obey Him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “A man will follow the religion of his close friend, so be careful about who you make friends with.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2378; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1937).
Ninthly:
If it so happens that you fall into sin in a moment of weakness, do not persist in that, rather be quick to repent to Allah, lest you become one of those of whom Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who, when they have committed Faahishah (illegal sexual intercourse) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins; — and none can forgive sins but Allah — and do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:135]
My brother, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Beware of letting the Shaytaan have any power over you or letting him whisper to you that Allah will never forgive you. For Allah forgives all sins of those who repent to Him.
I hope that Allah will help you and will make it easy for you to get out of this problem.
For more information on this topic I advise you to read the booklet Kayfa tawaajih al-shahwah: hadeeth ila al-shabaab wa’l-fatayaat.
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