Tuesday 12 Jumada al-akhirah 1442 - 26 January 2021
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Advice to a wife who is suffering some problems with her husband, whom she married under pressure from her mother and without the consent of her father

226042

Publication : 01-02-2016

Views : 8753

Question

My friend works at night (with husbnds consent)& has applied for day time.Her workplace is free-mixed
To give her husbnd visa, she needs salary tht I think has to be £18,600.I dnt think she cn get another job tht fulfils the conditions,even knw her salary may nt be enough & need to lie a little abt it in papers
Her husbnd is in Asia,he may try gettin job in UAE,if he cldnt get UK visa
My friend complained to me tht her husbnd dsnt seem to see her efforts,& has been rude.
They had good/loving times at start of marriage, tho he did beat her up as well. She went to see him recently, I think they had good time then too
She resents him, bcos of the way he has treated her.She hsnt explained the situation fully, so I dnt knw the extent of abuse, below are 2txts frm her:
1) I cnt think abt my future my kids cz i hated my husband& Ill always hate him. marryin him wsnt my choice nt even 1%
2) Im workin to get him here bcz mum thinks I'l b happy living with him bt I wont b I knw so I dnt care wht happens now. If he changed himself then I hv no issue with him bt stil I won't love him frm my heart,Il stil remember always wht he did to me
(Her mom arranged the marriage, the marriage happened in Afghanistan, abt 3yrs ago, without her dads consent.I dnt knw how her dad is like)
I think she's stress or sad over a few things, bt she said her husband is the main reason for her depression

Answer

Praise be to Allah.

It is permissible for a woman to go out of her house for work, subject to specific guidelines that we have explained previously in fatwa no. 106815

But you mentioned that your friend works in a place where there is mixing, working at night, in a non-Muslim country, and this kind of work is usually not free of a number of things that are prohibited. Therefore she has to fear Allah, may He be glorified, and repent to Him from having done such work that is contrary to Islamic teachings.

She is under no obligation to hasten to bring her husband if doing so will result in doing haraam deeds, such as continuing in a job that is not permissible, or telling lies in the official paperwork, because lying is prohibited, even if it is concerning a minor matter. We have previously explained that the Muslims, especially those living in non-Muslim societies, should strive to be truthful and avoid telling lies with the disbelievers, even more than in the case of believers, because striving to be truthful and connecting that to the teachings of the religion, is a kind of practical da‘wah to non-Muslims. It lets them see what Islam promotes of noble characteristics, and perhaps that will motivate some of them to enter the religion of Allah. 

But if the Muslim appears to be a liar or a cheater, or shows other blameworthy characteristics in front of non-Muslims, that may put them off the religion and make them despise its followers. Please see fatwa no. 175632

With regard to her marriage to this man without her father’s consent, it is a mistake. It is not permissible for a woman to get married without her guardian’s permission. But so long as that has been done, then the marriage is to be deemed valid. Please see fatwa no. 132787

With regard to her problems with her husband, we advise her to be patient with him and to offer a lot of supplication to Allah, may He be exalted, and to ask Him and beseech Him to set things straight between them, and to guide them and enable them to do that which He, may He be glorified, loves.

She should understand that people’s hearts are in the hand of Allah, may He be glorified, and that it is His way with His slaves to cause them to alternate between hardship and ease, restriction and abundance, so as to test them and see if they will show gratitude and patience. This wife herself has acknowledged that in the beginning she spent some time with her husband that she describes as happy, so let her fear Allah, may He be glorified, and turn to Him alone, and let her try hard to please her husband, for Allah, may He be glorified, is able to change this situation and make it the best of situations.

As for her current dislike of him, that may be due to living apart, for living apart may cause hard feelings. So let her try hard to bring her family together and start a happy life with her husband, in which they will live according to what Allah, may He be exalted, has prescribed.

We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to bring them together in the best way.

And Allah knows best.

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Source: Islam Q&A