Praise be to Allah.
Regarding the hadith mentioned, there is no basis for it from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and we have not come across any isnad for it, whether saheeh (sound) or da‘eef (weak).
As for greeting the wife with salaam when entering the house, doing so is Sunnah, and several hadiths have been narrated concerning it.
One of these hadith is that which was narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan (2494), from Abu Umaamah al-Baahili, from the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), who said: “There are three, all of whom are under the guarantee of Allah: a man who goes out to fight in Allah’s cause, for he is under the guarantee of Allah, such that if he dies, He will admit him to Paradise, or He will cause him to return with what he has attained of reward and booty; a man who goes to the mosque, for he is under the guarantee of Allah, such that if he dies, He will admit him to Paradise, or He will cause him to return with what he has attained of reward and booty; and a man who enters his house with the greeting of salaam, for he is under the guarantee of Allah.”
This hadith was classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani, as it says in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Another of these hadiths is that which was narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan (5096) from Abu Maalik al-Ash‘ari, who said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “When a man enters his house, let him say: ‘O Allah, I ask You for good when entering and when exiting. In the name of Allah we enter and in the name of Allah we exit, and in Allah our Lord we put our trust,’ then let him greet his family.”
This hadith was classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani, as it says in as-Silsilah as-Saheehah (225).
As for shaking hands, there are several haditha which indicate that it is mustahabb when meeting, in general terms.
One of these hadiths is that which was narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan (5212) and by at-Tirmidhi in his Sunan (2727), from al-Bara’ ibn ‘Aazib who said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There are no two Muslims who meet and shake hands but they will be forgiven before they part.”
This hadith was classed as hasan by Shaykh al-Albaani in as-Silsilah as-Saheehah (525) when all its isnaads are put together.
Another is the hadith narrated by at-Tabaraani in al-Mu‘jam al-Awsat (245) from Hudhayfah ibn al-Yamaan, from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) who said: “Verily, when one believer meets another, greets him with salaam, takes hold of his hand and shakes hands with him, their sins fall away like leaves falling from a tree.”
Shaykh al-Albaani classed the isnad of this hadith as saheeh in as-Silsilah as-Saheehah (526).
Shaking hands is Sunnah when meeting.
An-Nawawi said in al-Majmoo‘ (4/633): Shaking hands is Sunnah when meeting, because of the saheeh hadiths and the consensus of the leading scholars. End quote.
So if a man enters his house, greets his family with salaam and shakes hands with his wife, all of that is good.
And if he limits it to saying salaam when he leaves the house and enters the house, then he has done what is Sunnah, in sha Allah, and that is good for him and for his family members.
As for the hadith which the questioner quoted from some preacher about it being mustahabb for a man to shake hands with his wife specifically, there is no basis for that, as stated above.
Finally, preachers and callers, and Muslims in general, should be careful when attributing any hadith to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) lest they be included with those who tell lies about the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), who said: “Whoever attributes any words to me that I did not say, let him take his place in the Fire.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari in his Saheeh (109).
And Allah knows best.
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