Praise be to Allah.
We ask Allaah to help you and give you strength, and to guide your husband aright.
Undoubtedly by taking care of your children and being keen to guide your husband, you are doing good and will be rewarded in sha Allaah, for Allaah does not cause the reward of those who do good to be lost.
Our advice to you is to keep on being patient and making du’aa’ for your husband, and striving to guide him, through his parents, his brothers and those who have any influence on him. If a man neglects his duty towards his family he exposes himself to the wrath and anger of Allaah, because he is neglecting that which Allaah has entrusted to his care. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler is the shepherd of his people and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock….” This hadeeth was narrated by al-Bukhaari, 893; Muslim, 1826, from Ibn ‘Umar. And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said of his household: “Allaah will ask every shepherd about that which was entrusted to his care, whether he took care of it or neglected it, and He will even ask a man about his family.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Ghaayat al-Maraam, no. 271
And he said: “It is sufficient sin for a man to neglect those who are under his care.” Narrated by Ahmad and Abu Dawood from the hadeeth of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 827.
And he said: “There is no man whom Allaah causes to be appointed to a position of responsibility and he does not discharge his duties sincerely, but he will not even smell the fragrance of Paradise.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6731.
We do not think that your husband would like to have this warning directed at him, or that he would want his wife to spend on him and take care of him. This is something that men instinctively dislike.
You said that he sleeps and misses the prayers because he stays up at night and wastes his time. This means that he is in grave danger from another angle. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up As‑Salah (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salah (prayers) to be lost, either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not offering them in their proper fixed times] and have followed lusts. So they will be thrown in Hell”
[Maryam 19:59]
Ibn Mas’ood said that al-Ghayy (translated here as “Hell”) is a valley in Hell that is very deep and has an awful taste.
And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“. So woe unto those performers of Salaah (prayers),
5. Those who delay their Salaah (prayer from their stated fixed times)”
[al-Maa’oon 107:4-5]
This refers to those who delay their prayers from the proper times. But if he does not pray at all, then this is kufr which puts him beyond the pale of Islam, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Between a man and shirk and kufr there stands his giving up prayer.” Narrated by Muslim, 82.
And he said: “The covenant that stands between us and them is prayer. Whoever gives it up is a kaafir.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2621; al-Nasaa’i, 463; Ibn Maajah, 1079; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.
In that case you have to advise him, and if he persists in not praying, then you have to prevent him from being intimate with you until he repents and starts to pray.
We ask Allaah to set the affairs of all the Muslims traight.
And Allaah knows best.
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