Praise be to Allah.
What is forbidden for the pilgrim in ihraam is intercourse and touching with desire or kissing, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“The Hajj (pilgrimage) is (in) the well-known (lunar year) months (i.e. the 10th month, the 11th month and the first ten days of the 12th month of the Islamic calendar, i.e. two months and ten days). So whosoever intends to perform Hajj therein (by assuming Ihraam), then he should not have sexual relations (with his wife), nor commit sin, nor dispute unjustly during the Hajj”
[al-Baqarah 2:197]
The words fa laa rafatha (translated her as “should not have sexual relations”) mean that the one who enters ihraam for Hajj or ‘Umrah should avoid intercourse. Similarly it says elsewhere (interpretation of the meaning): “It is made lawful for you to have sexual relations [al-rafath] with your wives on the night of As‑Sawm (the fasts)” [al-Baqarah 2:187]. It is also forbidden to do the things that lead up to sexual intercourse such as touching, kissing and so on, and to speak of it in the presence of women. End quote.
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The texts of al-Shaafa’i and our companions are agreed that it is forbidden for the pilgrim in ihraam to be intimate with desire such as foreplay, kissing, touching and so on with desire. As for touching without desire, that is not forbidden, and there is no difference of scholarly opinion on this point. End quote.
In al-Mawsoo’at al-Fiqhiyyah (2/186) it says: It is forbidden for the pilgrim in ihraam, according to scholarly consensus and the consensus of the ummah, to have intercourse or do or say the things that lead to it, or to satisfy one's desires in any way. End quote.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (7/184), when discussing the things that are forbidden when in ihraam: … being intimate with women, with desire; as for touching without desire, such as if a man touches his wife’s hand, this is not haraam. End quote.
Based on this, if a pilgrim in ihraam sleeps in the same bed with his wife or touches her without desire, there is nothing wrong with that, but if he fears that it may lead to him doing something forbidden, then he should sleep in a separate bed.
And Allaah knows best.
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