I.
It is well known that Allah, Who created humans and instilled desire in them, is aware of the human’s weakness in the face of desire. Hence He, may He be Glorified, has prescribed means of protecting us from falling into what is prohibited because of it, and He has prescribed a remedy for it after we fall into it, so that we will not persist in the path of sin, heedless and lost and completely controlled by the Shaytan and evil inclinations of the nafs (self).
The basis of all goodness and salvation is to strive against the nafs and its evil inclinations before falling into sin, and to keep away from everything that could provoke desire and prompt a person to commit sin, help him to do it or make it fair-seeming to him, because at all times the individual needs to flee for the sake of his faith to his Lord and flee for the sake of his faith from his own evil inclinations, from bad company and from a bad environment, fleeing from the punishment of Allah to His mercy and good pleasure.
But if he falls into sin, there is no remedy except sincere repentance, turning to his Lord and coming back to Him sooner rather than later, before death catches up with him when he is in that state, or it becomes too difficult for him to resist falling into sin and thus he becomes unable to repent.
Al-Bukhari (7065) and Muslim (2758) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said, narrating what his Lord, may He be Glorified and Exalted, said
“A slave [of Allah] committed a sin and said: ‘O Allah, forgive me my sin.’
Then Allah, may He be Blessed and Exalted, said: ‘My slave has committed a sin, but he knew that he has a Lord Who forgives sin, and calls people to account for sin.’
Then he sinned again and said: ‘O Lord, forgive me my sin.’
Allah, may He be Blessed and Exalted, said: My slave has committed a sin, but he knew that he has a Lord Who forgives sin, and calls people to account for sin.’
Then he sinned again and said: ‘O Lord, forgive me my sin.’
Allah, may He be Blessed and Exalted, said: My slave has committed a sin, but he knew that he has a Lord Who forgives sin, and calls people to account for sin. I have forgiven My slave, so let him does what he wishes.’”
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said, commenting on this and similar hadiths:
These hadiths clearly indicate that even if the sin is repeated a hundred times or a thousand times or more, and he repents every time, his repentance is accepted and his sins are erased.
End quote from Sharh Muslim by an-Nawawi, 17/230.
As that is the case, what is important in your situation is sincere repentance, which means giving up your sin completely, and promising yourself and resolving not to go back to it again, and taking measures to help you achieve that, as well as regretting what you have done in the past and seeking forgiveness for it.
As for thinking of burning yourself or killing yourself or persisting in sin... All of that is dealing with a mistake by committing a crime that is a far greater mistake, like one who feels the pain of the summer heat so he throws himself into the Hellfire – would any rational person do that?
II.
There is no magic remedy that can be suggested. Rather we can only advise you to be firm in your resolve, persist, be steadfast and seek reward with Allah when repenting sincerely and giving up this sin. There are also some practical measures that will help you to do that, in sha Allah:
* Getting married, because marriage is the best and greatest remedy for that, and in fact is the greatest objective for which this desire was created in humans, to make them get married and come together, and seek to have offspring to perpetuate the human race on earth until the time decreed by Allah. So hasten to get married, and do not reject any compatible suitor on the grounds that you are studying or working or other flimsy excuses. Rather marriage should be given precedence in your case over all these things; in fact, there is no reason why you should not seek that, with the help of some sincere, religiously-committed women who care about you and are keen to help you maintain your chastity. This is the advice that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) gave to young people like you: “O young men, whoever among you is able, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Agreed upon.
* Keeping away from movies, TV shows, love stories and permissive websites that provoke desire, and anything else that stirs up desire, such as images, music, free mixing and so on.
* Focusing on useful hobbies and filling your time with that which will distract you from desire and benefit you, such as reading Qur’an, reading Islamic books, doing acts of worship and obedience to Allah, and so on.
* Maintaining a state of purity and striving to pray on time.
* Remembering that Allah is always watching you in private and in public, for this is the foundation of all good and is the key to salvation.
* Sincerely turning to Allah and asking Him to help you overcome the evil of your own self (nafs) and to control your desires, and to make it easy for you to fulfil your desire in a lawful manner, and to avert from you what is prohibited and what could lead to it.
For more information, please see the answers to questions no. 329 and 210259.
We ask Allah to help you to repent, and to avert evil from you and avert you from it, and to accept your repentance.
And Allah knows best.
