Shaving the pubic hair is one of the sunnahs of the fitrah, and Islam has stipulated that it should not be left without shaving for more than forty days. The basic principle is that every accountable person should shave his pubic hair himself, unless he is unable to do that because he is too old or is sick.
What the sister who is asking this question wants to do is a haraam action, and is an evil deed that it is not permissible for any Muslim woman to do except in cases of necessity. The fact that she is afraid to remove the hair is no excuse. This is not something that requires bravery and courage. There are many ways of removing it, some of which are easy.
It does not make it permissible if her friend swears an oath not to tell anyone of what she sees. If it is permissible to do this because of necessity, her mother is a better person to shave her pubic hairs.
The saheeh texts state that it is haraam for a man to look at the ‘awrah of another man, or for a woman to look at the ‘awrah of another woman, and the scholars are unanimously agreed on this prohibition.
It was narrated that Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should look at the ‘awrah of another man, and no woman should look at the ‘awrah of another woman.”
Narrated by Muslim (338).
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: As for a man with another man, each of them may look at that of his companion which is not ‘awrah. And the ruling on a woman with a woman is the same as the ruling on a man with a man.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
This is covering of women before men, and covering of men before men and women before women with regard to the ‘awrah, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should look at the ‘awrah of another man, and no woman should look at the ‘awrah of another woman, and he said: “Guard your ‘awrah from everyone but your wife and that which your right hand possesses (i.e., slave woman).” I said: What if the people are living with one another? He said: “If you can prevent anyone seeing it, then do not let him see it.” I said: What if I am alone? He said: “Allaah is more deserving that you should feel shy before Him.” And he forbade a man to lie with a man under one cover, or a woman to lie with a woman under one cover. And he said concerning children: “Teach them to pray when they are seven and smack them if they do not pray when they are ten, and separate them in their beds.” He forbade looking at or touching the ‘awrah of a person of the same gender, because that is abhorrent and immoral. As for men with women, this is because of the issue of sexual desire.
Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (22/113).
Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
… This is something concerning which there is no difference of opinion. It is haraam for a man to look at a woman’s ‘awrah and for a woman to look at a man’s ‘awrah, according to scholarly consensus. An exception is made for the married couple, who may look at one another’s ‘awrahs.
Fath al-Baari (9/338, 339).
It is not permissible for you to ask your friend to shave your pubic hair for you, or to let her do that. If you do that, you will both be committing a major sin, and you will not be excused for that, because it is easy to find other ways of removing this hair, such as using the well known depilatories, if you cannot use a razor.
This is permissible in cases of necessity when one is unable to move, or if one is sick or insane and other cases where a man or woman is unable to shave the pubic hair.
And Allaah knows best.