Monday 15 Ṣafar 1441 - 14 October 2019
English

Is premature ejaculation one of the defects that must be disclosed when wanting to marry?

Question

When getting married, does one have to inform the other of defects such as premature ejaculation? I have such and other problems that relate to premature ejaculation. Do I tell her privately? This is embarrassing and I do not know how I tell this to the one I want to marry. How would anyone want to marry such and how would the marriage last? I have a strong desire and fear I would commit sin, so what do I do?

Praise be to Allah

These sexual problems and illnesses that some people may suffer from before marriage may be divided into two categories when it comes to the issue of whether or not it is obligatory to inform the other party of them:

There is one category of which the other party must be informed, which refers to those sicknesses that will have an impact on married life, and because of which there will be problems and shortcomings in fulfilling marital duties, and which have an impact on the basic objectives of marriage such as physical pleasure, producing offspring and the like, as well as problems which may require lengthy treatment or may be chronic and the doctors cannot find of cure for them, such as incurable diseases like AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhoea and sterility, and diseases that are usually found off-putting and repulsive.

And there is another category that does not have to be disclosed, which is matters that do not usually affect married life and do not cause people to miss out on the basic objectives of marriage, such as those kinds of diseases that may occur but usually disappear with treatment, and symptoms that usually happen to young people.

What appears to be the case is that premature ejaculation and similar issues fall under the second category, because it is something that usually affects young newlyweds because of the intensity of desire, but with the passage of time, as they become accustomed to having intercourse, and with medical advice and using appropriate medication, this symptom will disappear and this problem will cease, by Allah’s leave.

The other party may have no knowledge of this issue and its nature, so telling them may cause some confusion for which there is no need.

Whatever the case, we advise you to consult a specialist doctor who can clarify the nature of your problem from a medical point of view, and the extent to which it will affect your marriage, and your ability to fulfil what is required of you of marital duties. If the problems that you are suffering are likely to affect that, then you must inform the woman to whom you propose, in one way or another, even if it is via some trustworthy women among your mahrams and the like.

For more information, please see the answer to questions no. 103871 and 128221.

And Allah knows best.

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